What a Difference a Week Makes!

Photo Credit: secretan.com
Photo Credit: secretan.com

Last week, I shared that I was coaching one of our elementary small group leaders in effectively leading her group.  (If you missed that post, you can read all about that here.)

This past Sunday, I sat in on the group again and saw something AMAZING.  The entire atmosphere in the group had been transformed – for the better.  Here’s what I observed:

A new routine was established.

Last week, I suggested that the leader establish a routine when the children arrive to the group after the large group teaching time.  She determined the following routine:  When you come to the small group area, grab your Bible and circle up on the floor.  So this week, the children who were there the week prior did just that – amazing!  Of course, the children who weren’t there didn’t know what to do but that takes me to my next observation…

The routine and simple guidelines were reviewed.

She asked me to review the routine and the guidelines with the group of nine children.  I began by praising the children who remembered what they were supposed to do when they came to the small group area.  Then I explained the routine to the children who were absent the week prior and why this routine was being implemented.

Then I explained the guidelines, which we’ve intentionally kept short, sweet and simple:

  • Respect the adult in charge. (I gave examples of what that looked like.)
  • Respect the other people in your group. (I gave examples of this too.)

I briefly explained the ‘whys’ behind the guidelines.  All in all, this took about two minutes to explain.  This wise investment of time made for a more calm, pleasant environment even though more children were present this week.

The Bible story was reviewed in a more engaging way.

The leader did a fabulous job engaging the children while reviewing the story.  She asked great questions (mentioned here).  She also kept children engaged by regularly referring to them by name.

The leader was more aware of when it was time to change things up a bit.

Because the children were more within her eyesight, she was able to notice when children were getting restless.  When she noticed this, she changed things up a bit.  How?  Read on…

The children were able to move around after the discussion time.

Last week, I suggested that the children get up and move around after the discussion time on the floor.  She had them complete their journal activity at the table before doing a Bible verse activity at the whiteboard.  It was very effective.  Changing up the ‘scenery’ came at just the right time because she was more aware – and prepared.

The leader was more confident.

I wish you could have been there.  Her voice was surer and her posture more upright.  She was prepared with her ‘cheat sheet”.  She was more relaxed.  Her body language screamed, “I can do this!”  It was such a God-thing to see this after just one week.

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My goal in coaching this sweet leader was to not only help the children have a great time but also to help her strengthen her leadership muscles.  I think she’s on the right track!  Moving forward, I suggested that she:

1. Take time at the beginning of each session to briefly review the guidelines.

2. Have fidgety children sit on either side of you or directly across from you.  This will allow you to correct behavior with a gentle hand on a shoulder or eye contact.

3. Sit where you can see the clock.  This will help you keep track of time. (Note: There is no clock in this leader’s area, but there will be next week!)

4. Break up your 30 minutes into three 10-minute segments.

5. Build anticipation for next week with comments like, “I can’t wait to see you again next week!” or “Next week, we’ll ____. I hope to see you then!” or “If you come next week, you’ll hear more about ____.”

Now it’s your turn to share…How do you coach your small group leaders to lead effectively? Post your tips below!

40 Must-Have Skills For Every KidMin Leader

Today is a very special day – it’s my 40th birthday!  Recently I read an article that shared 10 skills all homeowner’s need to have and that got me thinking…What skills should kidmin leaders possess?  Since ’40’ is the number of the day, I made a list of 40 skills, none of which are in any particular order.

As a kidmin leader, you should know how to:

  1. Clean up vomit.
  2. Have a difficult conversation.
  3. Invite people to serve.
  4. Answer a child’s ‘curve ball’ question.
  5. Deal with an irate parent.
  6. Handle criticism.
  7. Build an effective team.
  8. Stop a nosebleed.
  9. Take a day (or two or seven) days off.
  10. Unplug with a non kidmin-related hobby.
  11. Identify current movies, music, video games, apps that kids are using.
  12. Buy in bulk.
  13. Prepare and stay within a budget.
  14. Celebrate the ‘wins’.
  15. End ineffective programs.
  16. Lead a child to Christ.
  17. Clearly cast vision and strategy.
  18. Collaborate with a team.
  19. Submit to the authority over you.
  20. Laugh – a lot.
  21. Plan a great meeting – with an agenda.
  22. Stick to the meeting agenda.
  23. Step out of your comfort zone.
  24. Be flexible.
  25. Own your mistakes.
  26. Continue investing in yourself with workshops, conferences, books, etc.
  27. Set healthy boundaries.
  28. Give credit where credit is due.
  29. Know when to cancel a meeting.
  30. Regularly appreciate your volunteers and staff.
  31. Carve out regular, quality time with your family and friends.
  32. Bribe with food – yep, I said it!
  33. Know when to let things go – physically and literally.
  34. Say ‘no’.
  35. Not only delegate tasks but delegate responsibility.
  36. Work basic a/v equipment.
  37. Be a servant – dump trash, sweep floors, etc.
  38. Allow God to be in control.
  39. Pray without ceasing.
  40. Stay in the fight when you feel like quitting.

Now I can go and read Dale Hudson’s article for children’s leaders over the age of 40!  (You can read that article here.)

In the meantime…What would you add to the list?

Great Questions for Small Group Discussion

Photo Credit: secretan.com
Photo Credit: secretan.com

 

This past Sunday, I sat in on one of our elementary small groups.  For the next few weeks, I will be coaching one of our leaders on how to effectively lead her group by (1) best utilizing her time – she has 30 minutes, (2) redirecting behavior, and (3) facilitating discussion.  I thought I’d share the highlights of how I encouraged her to facilitate discussion with her group.  I really want to see this leader succeed but she told me, “I really want the children to succeed, too.”

One challenge of teaching elementary children is that there is a good chance that they’ve heard the Bible story that is being taught on any given Sunday.  So how can you make it come alive in fresh, engaging ways?  Since the context of our conversation was pertaining to small groups vs large group teaching time, the question became how can we help these children see and process the story in more meaningful, personal ways?

I gave this sweet leader some tips on how to do this.  When it’s time to review or discuss the Bible story, ask:

  • Was there anything that surprised you in today’s story?
  • Did you learn anything new?
  • If you could ask God one question about today’s story, what would you ask?
  • What do you think is the most important thing you should remember about this story?
  • How does this story make you feel closer to God?
  • Is there anything you need to start/stop doing because of this story?
  • What did you feel as you read/heard/saw/acted out this Bible story?

These questions go beyond children giving the ‘right’ answers and help them really think about what the story means to them.

You can also find creative ways to ask those questions.

  • Put questions on a cube or spinner, have kids draw a number and those whose number matches the one the teacher calls gets to roll or spin.
  • Place 2 or 3 colors in a bag.  Have kids draw a color and then their color will dictate what to do activity-wise.
  • Review/discuss and get the wiggles out by tossing around a beach ball with questions written or taped on them.

Kidmin Leaders: How do you coach your small group leaders to facilitate discussion?

Small Group Leaders:  What questions do you ask to help children process and apply the Bible story to their lives?

5 Reasons Why Every Leader Needs an Inner Circle

Photo Credit: thenextweb.com
Photo Credit: thenextweb.com

When I started out in kidmin, I likened myself to a sponge.  I wanted to soak up as much knowledge as I could.  I also deeply craved being around other leaders who did what I did.  I learned so much from listening to and engaging with other leaders – many of my own ideas were birthed as a result of being in such environments.

As the years have passed, the desire to be around other kidmin leaders hasn’t waned.  In fact, it has increased!  While I still love to learn and swap ideas, I now listen more intently to the heart of the leaders.  We share the same challenges and disappointments.  We are all trusting God to do big things through us for His glory.  We are just trying to survive week to week!

Having my circle around me has made me a better leader.  One piece of advice I always give to new ministry leaders or those having a rough time is GET AROUND OTHERS WHO DO WHAT YOU DO.  Having a circle of support doesn’t mean you’re a weak leader; it helps make you a stronger one.

How?

1. You can share in a safe place.  Every leader needs a safe place to share frustrations, challenges and tears.

2. You can bounce ideas off of other brains.  Some of my best ideas have come from a brainstorming session.

3. You can be supported in prayer.  Ministry is hard work and can often be lonely.  Having prayer support will be invaluable.

4. You can be affirmed.  Sometimes when you hear what others are going through, you realize that your situation is not all that bad.

5. You can be challenged.  You’ll hear other points of view and be challenged to think outside of the box.  You might even be encouraged to take a risk.  Being challenged might help you take the next step as a leader.

If you don’t know where to find that inner circle, here are a few suggestions:

Look within your church.  There are people in your church who are passionate about kidmin, love and support you or both. This group might not ‘do what you do’ but they can be a great source of support for you.  Keep them updated on ministry and personal needs.

Look within your community.  Are there church leaders in your community who you can network with?  I strongly believe that having a support system of like-minded people will be of great benefit to you.  I am part of a network of leaders who meet quarterly but out of that group, I have connected with one leader in particular who meets with me once a month for lunch and fellowship.  She is my kidmin sister and I always look forward to getting together with her.  Don’t have a group nearby?  Start one!

Look on social media.  Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, and CM Connect provides platforms for you to connect with other kidmin leaders.

Look within your denomination, if you’re part of one.  Many denominations have Christian Education groups that meet regularly.  If not, start one!

Look for discussion forums within other websites, like Kidology.  You might also be able to find discussion forums for the curriculum that you use.  Visit their website to see if one exists.

What have been effective ways for you to connect with other kidmin leaders?