What About the Tweens?

I am so excited to have my friend, Andrea Hopgood, share about her recent experience at the Children’s Pastors’ Conference.  Andrea and I connected through another national conference a few years ago and I count her as one of my trusted kidmin sisters.  Thank you for sharing your story with us, Andrea!

What about the tweens

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend the Children’s Pastors’ Conference (CPC15).  The four days of sitting and learning from experts in their field started with a long, daily look into, “What Matters Most in Ministry to Tweens”. Kids are considered a “tween” when they are between 9-12 years old. I will share with you highlights and AHA moments that were both confirming and convicting to me.

According to Daniel Nott with Tween Gospel Alliance, the average:

  • family time is 36 minutes per day
  • church time is 3 hours per week
  • media/digital time is 8-10 hours per day

These statistics show that media is forming and shaping the minds of our tweens. Our teens are buying into these thoughts:

There isn’t any absolute truth. They believe it’s ok to believe what you want.

They’re asking the question, “Is church relevant for me?”

Partying is good and being skinny is the key to happiness.  Anorexia is starting between ages 9-11.

Divorce and living together is okay.

They are being mentored by media.

Having sex is normal because it’s on TV regularly. According to Dannah Gresch, founder of Secret Keeper Girl, kids as young as 11 have been exposed to pornography.

 As parents and Christian leaders, it is our responsibility to nurture the tweens in our lives so they will not build their moral compass on a shaky (worldly) foundation. Instead, we need to guide them in creating a Biblical perspective that will be a firm foundation for their lives.

Moral Development Phases

3 to 6 year olds – This is the “copycat” phase. They want to be like mom or dad. At this age, they have the play kitchen sets and pretend tool boxes and they mimic what they see mom and dad do.

 7 to 12 year olds – This is referred to as the “counseling” phase because they are forming their spiritual beliefs. No longer can we say “Because I said so”, they want to know “why”. This is always a spiritual question. This gives us the opportunity to give an answer from a Biblical perspective. If we aren’t ready to answer their questions, the world is definitely ready.

Spirit

The battle for the mind and hearts of people are largely won or lost by age 13. According to studies conducted by Barna, 80% of tweens say the Bible, Qur’an and Book of Mormon teach the same truth.

1% of tweens have a Biblical world view.

Social Peers

Tweens tend to detach from face to face communication and prefer to engage in social media. This detachment causes a decrease in empathy. To grab their attention in the church setting, we must provide experiences that will grasp their attention and apply the lesson directly to their lives, followed by time for them to verbally process how the lesson (for example) applies to their life. Many tweens are the 4th-5th graders in our ministries. They are bored being with the 1st-3rd graders, but they aren’t ready to be with the older kids. This is a golden opportunity for us to create a transitional ministry.

When they were asked, “Who is the biggest influencer in your life?”, the #1 answer was their parents. This is confirmation that we must provide opportunities for parents to be in the driver’s seat for spiritual encounters and spiritual formation.  How can we do that?

  • Provide a parent/child baptism and/or communion class. This class will allow families to attend together as a ministry leader facilitates conversation. Parents will have an opportunity to share their faith story with their child or begin a conversation letting the child know that they are beginning this journey together.  This will start heart conversations that can continue even after the class is complete.
  • Host date nights for fathers and daughters or mothers and sons.
  • Organize a parent/child purity retreat to guide conversations so parents are teaching their kids the Biblical perspective of modesty and truth about sexuality.

As you ponder what God would like your next steps to be, I pray that you receive the clarity and courage you need in order to walk out the next steps He has for you.

Resources

tweengospelalliance.org

secretkeepergirl.com

Six Ways to Keep the “Little” in Your Girl by Dannah Gresch

Six Ways to Keep the “Good” in Your Boy by Dannah Gresch

Keep the conversation going!  Are you the parent or leader of a tween?  Do you feel equipped to navigate these years?  What resources have you found helpful?  Share a comment here or on our Facebook page!

Andrea has a passion for equipping ministry leaders with tools needed to lead children and families to have a relationship with our Savior.  During her 17 year career, she has served as a Children’s Pastor, a consultant, and a Presenter at various conferences.  Currently, she is the Director of Elementary Ministry at Elmbrook Church.

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Your Volunteers

Wise kidmin leaders know that volunteers are the heartbeat of our ministries.  We simply cannot do ministry without them.  Celebrating these faithful servants should happen regularly throughout the year but Valentine’s Day is a great time to shower them with love.

This year, our team selected this flip book from Christian Tools of Affirmation (CTA) to show our volunteers how much we appreciate them.  We’ll have them available each week throughout the month of February (some of our volunteers only serve once a month, so we didn’t want to overlook anyone.)

In addition, we will do other special appreciation gestures such as special sweet treats and a hot chocolate bar throughout the month of February.

If you’re undecided on how to honor your ministry volunteers this Valentine’s Day, you still have time to pull together a small token of appreciation.  Pinterest is a great place to find ideas.  To help you out, here are a few of my favorite ideas from the popular website.  Most are relatively inexpensive and easy to assemble.

From iheartnaptime

Valentine Treats - Starburst

From Orange Blogs

From gift cards, to plants, to food & candy, these 10 ideas are easy, heartfelt and budget-friendly.

Valentine Treat - Orange Blogs

Additional ideas from Orange can be round here.

From LifeWay Kids Ministry 101

Five free printable labels to accompany various pre-packaged candies.

Valentine Treats - labels

From Love The Day

If your volunteers love donut holes as much as ours do, you’ll definitely want this printable to attach to the sweet treats.

Valentine Treats - Donut Hole printable

From hersheys.com

Who doesn’t love chocolate from Valentine’s Day?  Collect small fabric bags with ribbon drawstrings. Let your students fill each bag with chocolate Hershey Hearts and pull the drawstring (or tie the bag with a ribbon). Have the children make small cards that say, “Hugs to you, our wonderful volunteer.” Punch a hole in the corner of each card. Help the child tie the card to the ribbon. Present the candy bags to your volunteers with a word of thanks.

Valentine Treats - Hersheys

From Group Publishing

This keepsake book for volunteers and teachers weaves encouragement, uplifting Scripture, real stories, and more into a gift that’ll warm their souls—and help keep their enthusiasm for introducing kids to Jesus going strong.

Valentine Treats - Group Pub Book

For even more ideas, be sure to check out my Valentine’s Pinterest Board!

How are you celebrating your volunteers for Valentine’s Day?  Let me know by leaving a comment below or on our Facebook page!

Flashback Friday: My Favorite Online Reads & Podcasts (Week of January 26, 2015)

This Week’s Favorite Online Reads & Podcasts

Here’s a sampling of some of the online reads and podcasts I enjoyed this week:

{MINISTRY/LEADERSHIP}

4 Ways to Help Your Team Surge Forward by John Maxwell

Why? by Kenny Conley

Cookie Cutter Church by Randall Coy

{PODCASTS}

How to Get Volunteers to Own Your Mission Like Staff Do – An Inteview with Elevation Church’s Frank Bealer by Carey Niewhof

{WRITING}

The Writer’s Cabin is a Myth by Jon Acuff

**********************************************************

I hope you enjoy reading these articles as much as I did.

Did you read something this week that inspired or encouraged you? Share it with me so I might check it out, too!

{Throwback Thursday}: Encourage & Equip Families to Worship Together

Photo Credit: Central Presbyterian Church
Photo Credit: Central Presbyterian Church

This month, our church has encouraged families with elementary, middle, and high school students to worship together in lieu of their regular Sunday morning programming.  It was an idea that surfaced at the end of last summer and again this past April at a staff meeting.  It wasn’t really a hard decision for us to make because of two observations: (1) last summer it was almost impossible to recruit volunteers to serve because of August travel schedules and (2) summer is a good time to try something different.  We had also been asked by several families to promote this type of initiative.

After a number of collaborative brainstorming sessions between Children’s Ministry, Student Ministry, Worship Arts, invested parents and Senior Leadership, we decided to go for it.  But we wanted to be strategic about our approach.

We wanted to give advance notice to our congregation, so we began announcing this change a few weeks out.  Our first announcement fell on our VBS Celebration Sunday (when there were many families – regular attenders and visitors – were in attendance.) Our Family Pastor even gave the children a bit of a teaser by announcing that a special ticket book might show up at their house. *See below for more info about this.

In addition, a number of promotional material was prepared.  We contracted a designer to create a Worship Together logo that was used on promotional material through the Sunday bulletin, our weekly e-newsletter, a letter that was mailed home to parents, our website and video.  Our promo videos included a rising 6th grader being ‘interviewed’ by one of our preachers; a skit by members of our Family Ministry team and one by me (gasp)!

We acknowledged that some parents & families might be a little apprehensive about worshiping with their younger elementary-aged children.  We wanted to ease their fears a bit and supplied a “Worship Together Resource” handout for parents to download from our website.  You can take a peek at that here. (I will also place a pdf copy under the “Parent Resources/Downloads” tab on this blog.)

Being very intentional about including children and students in the service is something we also desired.  This included a special blessing that parents could over children and students on Communion Sunday; creatively telling the Bible story through skits (involving children & students); and using examples that kids could relate to.  Our contracted designer also designed a pew card that explained the elements of the service and why we do them.

Supplying children’s worship bags was also a way for us to be intentional about including younger children in the service.  Each bag (a small, bright yellow plastic bag that I had on hand from a previous event) was filled with crayons, a pencil and that week’s specially designed children’s bulletin.  Our children’s bulletin was a one-page bi-fold which included a cover page; a place for older children to take notes (write down the scripture, who was preaching & what they learned); a place for children to circle corresponding pictures every time they sang a song, prayed, gave an offering, took Communion and read their Bible; and 2 activity pages (we varied the activities each week and chose crosswords, coloring pages, decoder puzzles, mazes, etc.)  Remembering that we were catering to children in grades 2-5, we wanted to offer a balance of activities to suit the wide age span.

Earlier I mentioned a special ticket book for families.  We mailed a ticket book to families with elementary-aged children so that the children could redeem tickets each week for a special small treat.  We chose some items that corresponded with the scripture text as well as general items like pencils and bookmarks.

I am hearing pretty good feedback from parents and other adults about how much they’ve enjoyed worshiping together and seeing the children in worship.  Our prayer is that Worship Together would become a regular practice among families at our church.

You may also be interested in reading:

Dear Parents of Young Children in Church by Sharon Harding

What about you?  Does your church encourage families to worship together?