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3 Reminders About Partnering with Parents

10/28/201410/28/2014 Kathie Phillips 8 Comments

I love my job. I really do. But sometimes, in the busyness of making sure that a million details are covered, I can oftentimes forget that families in my church community walk through our church doors carrying some pretty heavy burdens. I was reminded of that this past weekend. One family is facing a health crisis while another family is adjusting to new, temporary living arrangements.

My heart breaks for these two precious families. I wish I had the ‘right’ words to say, other than, “Tell me how I can pray for you.” But it dawned on me…praying for these families is one of the greatest gifts I can give to these sweet families and the other families I serve.

“Partnering with parents” is a popular phrase tossed around in the kidmin world. Google it – you’ll see more than 600,000 results! You’ll see the phrase on websites, in vision and mission statements, listed in an organization’s core values, just to name a few. But what does it really mean to partner with parents?

This past weekend, I was reminded that partnering with parents begins with a relationship. Do you take the time to stop and chat with the families in your ministry during weekend services? Are you even available to make this happen? Position yourself in visible places in your children’s areas to get to know your families. Listen to them – really listen. What are they saying? What are they NOT saying?

Partnering with parents means regularly communicating with them. Has a child or family missed several weeks of church? Has someone been sick? Is someone dealing with an extended time of crisis – unemployment, illness, new living situation? Reach out to them with a phone call, email, note in the mail, or text message. Meet them for coffee.

Partnering with parents means coming alongside them in prayer. When you say you’ll pray for someone, mean it – then do it. Pray for them specifically by name. Then follow-up with them. I have begun to add this to our weekly staff meeting agenda. It’s that serious.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of ways a kidmin can partner with parents. But think about it.

Build relationships.

Regularly communicate with them.

Pray with them (and for them).

Keep the conversation going by adding your two cents! What ways do you effectively partner with parents?

My New Season of Motherhood

06/02/201406/02/2014 Kathie Phillips 5 Comments

If you follow me on social media, then you know that for the past few weeks, our family has been busy as my son’s senior year of high school has come to an end – prom, awards ceremonies, special class activities, exams and graduation. Allow me to briefly tell you about my son, Daniel.

Five months into my pregnancy, Lance & I found out we were having a son. We were so very excited! I could not wait to meet him! Before he was born, I dreamed about what he’d look like (although my ultrasound pictures showed he favored Lance more than me!), what his personality would be like and what God would do in his life. I loved him before I even knew him – kind of weird, but if you’re a mom, you know what I mean.

When I met my little boy after his birth, I was in love. I couldn’t believe how beautiful he was. I loved holding him and staring at him. We were bonded for life. As he grew through infancy and the toddler years, my sweet Daniel was one happy little boy. He hardly ever cried, his personality was so laid back and calm, his eyes made my heart melt and he had the most adorable chubby cheeks that were perfect for a million kisses. He was an ‘easy’ baby and preschooler.

During his early school years, he loved school and was enthusiastic about learning. Things took a turn during his fourth grade year and for the next 4 years, his enthusiasm turned to academic struggle and many frustrating, tear-filled nights for him (and me). But thankfully, that time didn’t change his personality. His adolescent years were surprisingly pleasant. Even as a high-schooler, he still loved to plop down on my bed to talk. To this day, I enjoy his company – he is kind, gentle and very funny. He always makes me laugh.

Daniel has been fascinated with cars since he was a toddler – he has built a pretty impressive Hot Wheels collection over the years. About a year and a half ago, he got his learner’s permit to drive a real car. Good times driving around with a teenager driver! He always handled the car well and was very comfortable driving, so I knew he’d be fine when it came time to get his driver’s license. Well, earlier this spring, he obtained his driver’s license and let me tell ya…the first time he drove my car alone, I was a wreck! I sat on my bed, weeping, feeling like my heart would not beat again until he texted me when he arrived at his destination. All was well when I received that text and I could resume breathing – until I realized that he had to drive home alone later that evening. Repeat crying and a stopped heart until I heard him pull up outside. It took such an emotional toll on me that I went to bed soon after he arrived home!

As his mom, I have always wanted to protect him and his sister. If they were with me, I knew they were safe. But the moment that my son was operating a motor vehicle outside of my ‘protective arms’, I couldn’t deal with it. God showed me that I was a control freak. As long as I was in the car watching out for idiot drivers, Daniel was safe. How could I protect him if he was driving alone? I really needed to rely on God to keep a hedge of protection around him.

As my son enters a new season of life and I enter a new season of motherhood, I am reminded of a few things:

Lance & I are finished raising Daniel. This year, the catchphrase around our house has been ‘moving from dependence to independence’. We have tried to be very proactive about that.
Our role is now to advise and guide as Daniel needs. We have raised him the best we could; now it’s time for him to make his own decisions. It won’t always be easy seeing him find his own way but he has much to learn through wise – and unwise – choices. We are trusting that his relationship with Christ and what we’ve taught him will help him to navigate those unchartered waters.
God will still hear my mama prayers. Just because my son is now an adult doesn’t mean that my mama prayers will end. My parents still pray daily for my siblings and me. I will still keep my son lifted up in prayer to my Heavenly Father.

Daniel is such a great young man. Not only do I love him…I like him. I’m excited to see him enter this new season of life as a young adult. I’m also excited for this new season of motherhood and all that I’ll learn. Pray for this mama, friends!

Connected to the Vine

04/28/201404/28/2014 Kathie Phillips 5 Comments

A few weeks ago, I ate a bunch of grapes and when I had eaten them all, something grabbed my attention. The empty vine that I held was so tightly intertwined, I’m surprised I was able to free any grapes to enjoy! A very familiar scripture passage popped into my mind:

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit…”

John 15:5

I didn’t think much about the empty grapevine after that evening, but this morning, I was again reminded of the same scripture. You see, I was out running errands but came across some beautiful plants that I thought would be perfect to plant in the planters on my front porch. I couldn’t wait to get home and plant them in the lackluster planters.

As I cleared out what was left of the mums I had planted months earlier, I notice that while the branches broke off easily, pulling the root out of the planters was a bit of a struggle. Again, the above scripture came to mind. The passage continues:

“Anyone who parts from me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers…”

John 15:6

Staying connected to God (the Vine) is a vital element of a growing relationship with God. So often, those of us in ministry work in the name of the Lord without realizing that we might not be spending adequate time in the Word and the presence of our Savior.

At our staff meeting that same week, our Senior Pastor encouraged us to stay connected to the Vine by incorporating the following into our regular spiritual practices:

The First 30: We were encouraged to find a quiet place (the Sanctuary, the Worship Center, the prayer chapel or our office) and spend the first 30 minutes of our day with the Lord before we jump into our work. When he suggested this, I realized that even though I work in a church, I rarely sit in the prayer chapel or Sanctuary to pray or read my Bible. This was a great suggestion.

Attending staff prayer: Three times a week, our entire staff gathers for 30 minutes to pray. The time isn’t required but it’s highly encouraged. It’s a time to take a break and connect with each other about personal and ministry needs.

Retreat Day: The last thing that our Pastor encouraged was for us to take a personal retreat day monthly, quarterly or a few times a year. The retreat day should include time for solitude, prayer, Bible reading and just sitting in the presence of God.

During Holy Week, I was able to take a few days away to for prayer, planning, reading and studying. While the time included some distractions (ugh!), I was able to read some of George Barna’s The Power of Team Leadership as well as think through a volunteer orientation program I’d like to re-launch this fall. My time in the Word was extra special because my Mom wrote a devotional for me to use each day. You can download the devotional here and use it in your own quiet time.

I am so thankful for a leader who not only cares about the ministries we lead but also cares for us personally.

Whether you lead a ministry, lead children as a volunteer or lead your family, it is important – or rather imperative – that you stay connected to the Vine.

What does this look like in your life? How do you stay connected to the Vine while leading a busy life?

Whispers from God

04/07/201404/07/2014 Kathie Phillips 2 Comments

As I sit, reflecting on an action-packed weekend, my heart is overflowing with gratitude for all of the bold (as well as subtle) reminders of how God is at work in and around me.

For the past few months, I (along with my mom and sister) have been planning to host a Priscilla Shirer simulcast event at my church. We were so excited to welcome the ladies joining us for the simulcast this past Saturday. The worship, led by Priscilla’s brother Anthony Evans, was spirit-filled and uplifting. The Word that Priscilla brought impacted me so deeply that it will take quite some time to process it all. I felt God whisper to me…

Being with other women is life-giving…

There is safety in My presence…

Feeding your own soul spiritually is vital to your relationship with Me…

I want to be part of EVERY aspect of your life.

After the simulcast concluded, I helped my son pack his final things for his senior class mission trip. Early yesterday morning, we sent him off to serve in Belize. For the next week, he (and his classmates and chaperones) will run a VBS and Easter Egg Hunt for a local school there in Belize. This year has been filled with moments of letting him go and this one was a big one! Sending my firstborn on his first international mission trip was a huge deal for me, but I know that (1) he’s ready, (2) he’ll enjoy being with his classmates, and (3) he is so capable of helping to run the VBS and egg hunt. I’m so proud of him and the ways God is shaping is life. I felt God whisper to me…

You love him but I love him more…

Each season of his life will be filled with exciting and teachable moments…let him go…

All of the ways you and Lance have raised him have prepared him for this moment.

As if that wasn’t enough, my new Associate Director of Children’s Ministry was commissioned for service yesterday. I am so thankful for her and the energy, gifts and passion she brings to the team. I cannot wait to see all that God will do through her ministry to our children, families and volunteers! I felt God whisper to me…

I am faithful…

I heard your prayers for many, many months. My timing is perfect…

Cherish her, mentor her, do life with her. She is more than your co-worker.

And last but not least, five children in our ministry celebrated their First Communion yesterday. For the past three weeks, these children (plus an additional one whose First Communion will take place later this spring) have learned what Communion is, why we take it and how to personally reflect before taking it. As I watched those precious children partake of the elements, I felt God whisper to me…

What you do matters…

What you train and equip others to do matters…

You are impacting my Kingdom for eternity…

This is the call I have placed on your life.

The prayers I have prayed in recent weeks have been some of the most heartfelt I’ve ever prayed. I have seen God’s spirit move in mighty ways. For that, my heart is grateful.

What are you grateful for today?