From the Archives: Ministry and Motherhood

Note from Kathie:  As Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching, I thought I’d pull a post from my archive to share with you (again).  If you are a KidMin ministry mom, please consider joining my Ministry Moms group on CMConnect.  You can find the group here.

Balancing ministry and motherhood is something that I’ve tried to manage for the seven years that I’ve been on-staff in Children’s Ministry.  It hasn’t always been easy.  Sometimes I feel like I pour too much of myself into my work while neglecting time with my children and vice versa.  Instead of thinking of it as either-or, I have tried to intertwine the two.  Here’s how:

I involve my children in my ministry.  This won’t work for every family (my children are teenagers) but my children actually enjoy being a part of my ministry.  In fact, they call it “our ministry”.  They are able to offer great insight into music choices, games, events and resources.  My little test group, if you will.  Not only does this help me stay relevant and “cool” with the kids at church, but it helps my children feel like valued members of our ministry (which they are).

As a result, I’ve seen them use their gifts and talents.  My son has seen me lead Sunday School and is now a teen small group leader for 6th grader boys at our church.  He not only prepares his lessons ahead of time but he finds ways to shepherd the boys as well as provide an atmosphere of community within the group.  He has also taught me a thing or two about technology (namely how to design a PowerPoint presentation).  My daughter is extremely artistic.  She has helped design brochures as well as sets and bulletin boards.  She has also researched craft projects and has written skits for the children.

I ask their permission before signing them up for events, etc..  I value my children and their need for personal boundaries by not signing them up to help me at events.  I don’t automatically assume that they will be present or fill open slots.  Because of this, they look forward to going to church and volunteer to serve in various ways.

I value their opinion.  When I was presented with a new ministry opportunity last year, I talked it over with my children (and my husband).  Because the opportunity would involve changing churches, their opinion was vital to my decision.  Talking it over with them and getting their insight strengthened our family and helped them to love, not resent, moving to our current church.

I am aware of negative talk about the ministry.  Volunteers don’t show up.  Someone may disagree with a decision I’ve made.  Someone may complain about this or that.  But my children don’t need to hear that.  It’s not their burden to carry.

As often as I can, I take them along with me when I travel for work.  My children are unsung heroes of my ministry, so taking them along with me is a reward for them.  Those trips have been some of the best times we’ve had as a family.

I value them by leaving work at work.  I love Children’s Ministry.  I love to read about it and talk about it.  But I also love my family time and try to protect that at all costs.  Saturdays and Sunday afternoons are reserved for family–movies, good conversation, a delicious meal, a road trip.  Just good, quality time to connect.

Although I love Children’s Ministry, motherhood is my most important ministry.  But having my children integrated into my ministry is the best of both worlds!  I could not imagine ministry life without them! 🙂

If you are a mom in ministry, how do you make it all work?  Share your thoughts below!

Celebrate “Write a Thank-You Note Day”

Photograph via Tumblr

My husband and I spent the year before we were married in a long-distance relationship (he lived in Alabama while I attended college in Virginia).  During that year, we exchanged a lot of cards and letters.  Every now and then I read through the notes just for fun.  That’s easy to do because the notes sit in a floral basket next to my bed.  The basket also contains cards that my children made in their preschool and elementary years as well as other keepsakes from special people in my life.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post encouraging leaders to speak their volunteer’s love language.  Since my love language is words of affirmation, I treasure notes (hand-written and electronic) containing encouragement and thanks.

Yesterday, I received an email from one of my favorite home and garden magazines.  They declared today Write a Thank-You Note Day”.  What a great idea, I thought.

Hand-written notes have almost become outdated in lieu of e-mail and text messages, but in my opinion, hand-written notes will never go out of style.

So, consider writing a thank-you note to someone you appreciate today.  Make it full of reasons why you appreciate them and how much they mean to you.

Don’t have a clue who you might bless with a hand-written note?  Here are some suggestions to get you started:

If you’re a KidMin leader:

  • Your spouse
  • Your children
  • Your pastor/supervisor
  • Someone who serves in your ministry
  • Someone behind the scenes but serves your ministry (i.e. your janitorial or church office staff)
  • Your mentor

If you’re a KidMin parent:

  • Your spouse
  • Your children
  • Your child’s principal/teacher/school administrator
  • Your child’s coach
  • Your children’s pastor/director

If you’re a KidMin volunteer:

  • Your spouse
  • Your children
  • Your ministry leader
  • Someone who serves alongside you in ministry
  • Parents of a child in your class

Challenge:  Go ahead – write a thank-you note today, but don’t let it stop there.  Take the time to regularly write thank-you notes to people you are thankful for.  You can write one a day, one a week, or one a month.  Just write it – your words and the thought behind it will bless you as well as the recipient.

Related Post:  Speak Your Volunteer’s Love Language

Thankful Thursday: Week 3

A few weeks ago, I planned to set aside every Thursday in November to share some of the many things I’m thankful for.  You can read about Week 1 here and Week 2 here.

“I have found the one my soul loves.”

Song of Solomon 3:4

This weekend, my husband, Lance, and I will be celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary.  So, this week, I’d like to share with you why I am thankful for my husband.

Lance and I met 19 years ago while we were in college.  He was a junior; I was a freshman.  We were total opposites.  He was from the South; I was from the East Coast.  He was outgoing; I was more reserved.  He was very athletic; I was in the band.  It makes me believe that in some ways, opposites really do attract.

Over the years, our life together has been filled with highs and lows, blessings and heartaches.  Moving to a new state, moving to another state a few months later, children, losing a child, new jobs, losing jobs, death of beloved family members, health challenges, dreaming new dreams, seeing other dreams put on hold.

Despite it all, I would not want to have experienced all of that with anyone else but Lance.  Somehow, no matter what comes our way, life is so much better because I have him in my life.

As the scope of my ministry has expanded and I have taken on more projects, he has supported me every step of the way.  People have always said how awesome it is that Lance and I serve side by side.  (Just for the record, he is not on staff with me at our church.  However, he is my favorite volunteer!)  But side by side is the unspoken motto of our marriage.  We are partners in every sense of the word.

I am thankful for a husband who loves me, provides for me, listens to me, encourages me, challenges me, fights for me.  He is one of the greatest gifts that God has given me and for that, I am truly thankful.

Thankful Thursday: Week 2

A few weeks ago, I planned to set aside every Thursday in November to share some of the many things I’m thankful for.  You can read about Week 1 here

“Always be thankful.”

Colossians 3:15, NLT

Being more intentional about having an attitude of gratitude for the month of November has really been good for me.  During the daily grind, when things get frustrating or overwhelming, I say, “Be thankful.  Always be thankful.”  That puts things into perspective.

If you have been following me, you are aware that we launched a preteen ministry at our church this fall.  Naturally, this is something I’m thankful for.  I shared my thoughts about this over at FourFiveSix.  You can read about it here.

Is having an attitude of gratitude part of your daily life?  Let me know how by sharing below!