Tag: Gary Chapman

{Throwback Thursday} Speak Your Volunteer’s Love Language

Kathie Phillips

Years ago, I read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.  The title was fascinating and I wanted to learn more.  Not only did I want to learn how to best show love to my husband, I wanted to learn more about the way I best receive love.  The findings weren’t astonishing – I already knew – but I could give it an “official” title.

If you are not familiar with The 5 Love Languages, allow me to give you a brief description of each:

Words of Affirmation:  Use words to affirm other people.

Acts of Service:  For these people, actions speak louder than words.

Receiving Gifts:  It’s not the price or extravagance of the gift; it’s the thought behind it.

Quality Time:  Give people your focused, undivided attention.

Physical Touch:  Use appropriate touch to lift someone’s spirits

Since the first book, there have been subsequent books, including “The 5 Love Languages of Children”, “The Five Love Languages of Teenagers”, just to name a few.  The author also penned a book called “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace”.  According to their website, this book gives “practical steps to make any workplace environment more encouraging and productive”.

I’d like to offer that as kidmin leaders, one of our goals should be to make our ministry environments more encouraging and productive.  How?  By creatively loving on our volunteers as often as we can.  What if we loved our volunteers in ways that they would best receive it?  What if we moved away from “one size fits all” volunteer appreciation?  After all, if we don’t properly care for our volunteers, who will?

Show your volunteers how much you care by speaking their love language.  Below are a few ideas to help get you started:

Words of Affirmation:  

  • Praise your volunteers publicly, in front of other people.
  • Write notes to them, affirming them in how they are an invaluable member of your team.
  • Write notes to their family, thanking them for sharing their family member with your ministry and the impact they are having.
  • Catch them in the act and mention to them how they made the right call, gently spoke to a child, made the Bible story come alive, etc.

Resource:  DaySpring provides free e-cards you can send to your volunteers to let them know how much you care.

Acts of Service:  

  • Take them a meal when they are sick, have a baby, etc.
  • Offer to babysit volunteer’s children so that your volunteer can enjoy a date night with their spouse, a day of pampering, or a day of solitude with the Lord.
  • Run an errand for them.
  • Prepare their supplies for an upcoming lesson.
  • Love them enough to give them the Sunday off when needed.

Resource:  Make a coupon book for volunteers for them to use in redeeming “services” (with advance notice, of course!).

Receiving Gifts:  

  • Give volunteers their favorite piece of candy, a gift card to their favorite restaurant or a gift card to their favorite coffee shop.
  • Frame their favorite scripture verse in a beautiful picture frame.
  • Put together an electronic photo album, showcasing your volunteer in action.  (I love Smilebox.)
  • Frame a picture of your volunteer in action.
  • Frame a picture of your volunteer’s class or team.
  • Have the volunteer’s make a handmade gift.

Resource:  Find out your volunteer’s “Favorite Things” by asking them.  Here’s a free form to get you started.

Quality Time:  

*Disclaimer:  Keep appropriate boundaries when interacting with someone of the opposite sex.

  • Take your volunteers out for coffee or meal just to chat and get to know each other outside of church.
  • Call your volunteer and ask how you can pray for them.  Pray for them right over the phone.
  • If you share a hobby with a volunteer, do that hobby together – bake cookies, go fishing, take a class, paint a room, plant a garden, etc.
  • Serve together in a cause that you’re passionate about.
  • Read a book together and discuss it.

Resource:  Subscribe to websites like Groupon or Living Social – they have great discounted goods and services.

Physical Touch:

*Disclaimer:  Use appropriate touch, especially toward the opposite sex.  I am a hugger by nature, but a rule of thumb that I follow is that I do not hug my male volunteers.  I have a completely hands-off policy for male volunteers.

  • Give a hug to a hurting volunteer of the same gender.
  • You could also give fist bumps, a high-five or a special handshake.

Brainstorm additional ideas to help each volunteer feel loved and appreciated in ways that would mean the most to them.

What ideas would you add to the list?  Share them with me below!

{Book Review & Giveaway} “Growing Up Social”

Kathie Phillips

Technology is all around us.  There’s no escaping it.  As a busy woman, mom of two teenagers, and aunt of younger elementary children, I am all too aware of the screen-driven world we live in.  Sometimes, I look around a crowded room and see everyone’s face staring at a screen (TV, mobile phone or tablet).  It’s can be hard to convince everyone to put down the devices and actually talk to each other – voice to voice, eye to eye.

When I was offered the opportunity to review Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World, I couldn’t wait to dive in.

About the book:
 
Growing Up Social
-Softcover
-209 pages
-Parent Resources
-discussion Guides for every chapter (perfect for a bible study!)
 
Is technology bringing your family closer together or driving you farther apart?
 
Children today are no longer playing hide-and-seek outside or curling up with a good book—instead they’ve been introduced to a world of constant digital entertainment through television, video games, and mobile devices. And while technology has the potential to add value to our lives and families, it can also erode a sense of togetherness and hinder a child’s emotional and social development.
In Growing Up Social, Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane will empower you with the necessary tools to make positive changes…starting today. Through stories, wit, and wisdom, you’ll discover how to take back your home from an over dependence on screens. Plus, you’ll learn to teach the five A+ skills that every healthy child needs to master: affection, appreciation, anger management, apology, and attention.
•Equip your child to be relationally rich in a digital world
•Replace mindless screen time with meaningful family time
•Establish simple boundaries that make a huge difference
•Discover what’s working for families that have become screen savvy
•Learn healthy ways to occupy your child while you get things done
Now is the time to equip your child to live with screen time, not for screen time. No phone, tablet, or gaming device can teach your child how to have healthy relationships—only you can.
What I Liked:

I read Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, many years ago & loved it, so I had high hopes for this book.  I enjoyed the content that spoke specifically to social media and how it affects not only children but adults, things such as:

  • “The training necessary for growing up social isn’t found on a phone or tablet.  There’s no app or video game that can replace interactions with other human beings.  Social skills must be practiced in real life, beginning for a child in the home.”
  • “The more a child is involved in screen time, the less time there is for interaction with parents, siblings and friends.”
  • “More and more children are being taught how life works from a screen instead of the real-life classrooms of responsibility, chores, and family relationships.”
  • “If your children are not interacting with the family in a way you consider healthy, it’s your responsibility to make a change.”
  • “…technology works best when it’s a tool in your life.  It becomes destructive when it becomes the main hub where most of your life is experienced.”
  • “Physical presence matters.  You cannot communicate intimacy through texts, emails, or tweets.  The deepest form of affection is given face to face in real-time.”
  • “If we leave our children unattended with their screens, we must be prepared to accept the consequences.”

Many of the tips offered in the book were practical and easy to implement.  I think it equally balanced emphasized being intentional in taking proactive measures as well as measures to change bad habits that have formed.

What I Think Was Missing:

The middle section of the book spoke to five “A+ skills” that every healthy child needs to master.  While this was great stuff, I felt like it didn’t belong in this book.  It would’ve been great in a separate book.  I also felt like some of the content was repeated several times throughout each chapter.  In addition, some of the stories shared in the book seemed a little idealistic to me.

My Recommendation:

Overall, the book had some good points that parents today should take notice of.  You can check it out for yourself by entering to win a copy by emailing me at kidminspiration@gmail.com.  Deadline to enter is 11:59pm Friday, November 14th.

About the authors:
Gary Chapman
Gary Chapman- author, speaker, and counselor—has a passion for people and for helping them form lasting relationships. He is the bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages series and the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information, visit 5lovelanguages.com.
Arlene Pellicane
Arlene Pellicane– is a speaker and author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. She has been featured on The Today Show, The 700 Club, and Family Life Today and formerly served as the associate producer for Turning Point Television with Dr. David Jeremiah. Arlene lives in Southern California with her husband, James, and their three children. Find out more at ArlenePellicane.com.

Growing Up Social

Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

Speak Your Volunteer’s Love Language

Kathie Phillips 8 Comments

Years ago, I read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.  The title was fascinating and I wanted to learn more.  Not only did I want to learn how to best show love to my husband, I wanted to learn more about the way I best receive love.  The findings weren’t astonishing – I already knew – but I could give it an “official” title.

If you are not familiar with The 5 Love Languages, allow me to give you a brief description of each:

Words of Affirmation:  Use words to affirm other people.

Acts of Service:  For these people, actions speak louder than words.

Receiving Gifts:  It’s not the price or extravagance of the gift; it’s the thought behind it.

Quality Time:  Give people your focused, undivided attention.

Physical Touch:  Use appropriate touch to lift someone’s spirits

Since the first book, there have been subsequent books, including “The 5 Love Languages of Children”, “The Five Love Languages of Teenagers”, just to name a few.  The author also penned a book called “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace”.  According to their website, this book gives “practical steps to make any workplace environment more encouraging and productive”.

I’d like to offer that as kidmin leaders, one of our goals should be to make our ministry environments more encouraging and productive.  How?  By creatively loving on our volunteers as often as we can.  What if we loved our volunteers in ways that they would best receive it?  What if we moved away from “one size fits all” volunteer appreciation?  After all, if we don’t properly care for our volunteers, who will?

Show your volunteers how much you care by speaking their love language.  Below are a few ideas to help get you started:

Words of Affirmation:  

  • Praise your volunteers publicly, in front of other people.
  • Write notes to them, affirming them in how they are an invaluable member of your team.
  • Write notes to their family, thanking them for sharing their family member with your ministry and the impact they are having.
  • Catch them in the act and mention to them how they made the right call, gently spoke to a child, made the Bible story come alive, etc.

Resource:  DaySpring provides free e-cards you can send to your volunteers to let them know how much you care.

Acts of Service:  

  • Take them a meal when they are sick, have a baby, etc.
  • Offer to babysit volunteer’s children so that your volunteer can enjoy a date night with their spouse, a day of pampering, or a day of solitude with the Lord.
  • Run an errand for them.
  • Prepare their supplies for an upcoming lesson.
  • Love them enough to give them the Sunday off when needed.

Resource:  Make a coupon book for volunteers for them to use in redeeming “services” (with advance notice, of course!).

Receiving Gifts:  

  • Give volunteers their favorite piece of candy, a gift card to their favorite restaurant or a gift card to their favorite coffee shop.
  • Frame their favorite scripture verse in a beautiful picture frame.
  • Put together an electronic photo album, showcasing your volunteer in action.  (I love Smilebox.)
  • Frame a picture of your volunteer in action.
  • Frame a picture of your volunteer’s class or team.
  • Have the volunteer’s make a handmade gift.

Resource:  Find out your volunteer’s “Favorite Things” by asking them.  Here’s a free form to get you started.

Quality Time:  

*Disclaimer:  Keep appropriate boundaries when interacting with someone of the opposite sex.

  • Take your volunteers out for coffee or meal just to chat and get to know each other outside of church.
  • Call your volunteer and ask how you can pray for them.  Pray for them right over the phone.
  • If you share a hobby with a volunteer, do that hobby together – bake cookies, go fishing, take a class, paint a room, plant a garden, etc.
  • Serve together in a cause that you’re passionate about.
  • Read a book together and discuss it.

Resource:  Subscribe to websites like Groupon or Living Social – they have great discounted goods and services.

Physical Touch:

*Disclaimer:  Use appropriate touch, especially toward the opposite sex.  I am a hugger by nature, but a rule of thumb that I follow is that I do not hug my male volunteers.  I have a completely hands-off policy for male volunteers.

  • Give a hug to a hurting volunteer of the same gender.
  • You could also give fist bumps, a high-five or a special handshake.

Brainstorm additional ideas to help each volunteer feel loved and appreciated in ways that would mean the most to them.

What ideas would you add to the list?  Share them with me below!