Summer Lovin’: Social Media, Video Games and Your Children

The following post is the first in a series of summer-related posts.  

Today’s post is written by Jason Phillips (no relation).

Safeguarding Kids on Social Media/Video Games During the Summer Months

 

Okay, school is out, and the kids are ready to play! Play video games, that is. Gear up the couch, set up the snacks, and plop those kids on the couch – it’s summer! While you may not be excited that the kids are going to be couch potatoes, they sure are. Don’t forget…they are itching to get online and give your personal information out to complete strangers.

So here’s the bottom line: your children are targets. They are targets to corporate marketing companies, internet predators, and cyber bullies. Everyone wants a piece of your child, because they are young, impressionable and easy to manipulate.

You may be asking yourself – “Self, how do we raise children to live safely in a world with social networking? When are they old enough to drive around in that world on their own? What tools do they need to cope with that world? How can we help them to be successful and safe in that world?” Well, the answer is this: school your kids.

We all know that we need to protect children in the physical world; we also need to realize that there can be just as much danger in the online world. The risks of networking online are becoming well-known, in part, through media attention. Risks for children and teens include:

  • Sharing one’s personal information with the wrong crowd. Unsupervised online contact with adults and older or manipulative kids can potentially lead to personal physical danger.
  • Bullying. Harassment may occur online only (cyber bullying), or it may spill over to offline bullying committed by a schoolmate who has located his victim online.
  • The permanency of online profiles. Once information has been shared on the Internet, it’s out there — forever! Retrieving information that others have read and captured is nearly impossible. Sharing one’s personal profile, words, pictures and videos can potentially lead to future embarrassment, harassment and even discrimination in employment and school admissions (although the latter concern is being addressed).
  • Misinformation. Kids can find inaccurate and misleading information about a variety of topics.

By 2005, 91% of children had regular access to the Internet and online material, and the online world has brought forth a slew of new opportunities for social interactions for children and adolescents. The line between video games and online content has blurred in the past few years due to many games’ inclusion of online content, including options to share personal data, interact with other players in online competitions, and immerse oneself in the worlds of Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Games (MMORPG).

As of 2010, 93% of teens (12-17) go online, and of the children (0-5) who use the Internet, 80% use it at least once a week.97% of teens (12-17) play computer, web, portable, or console games.

Here are a few tips to make sure your online gaming experience is okay for your child:

  • Teach your child to use voice chat wisely, make him or her aware of voice masking technology.
  • Make sure your child uses suitable screen names (aka gamer tags) that are appropriate for his or her age.
  • Make sure your child knows what a cyber-bully is and why it’s bad.

As a parent, you need to be educated on your child’s games.

  • Go ahead and use parental controls on all your gaming devices, and make sure you know about the games your child plays.
  • Make sure you know how the mechanics, social interactions, and online content work.
  • Make yourself knowledgeable of ALL of the games that he or she plays, and most of all, watch your child play.  You might just gain some insight into your child’s online habits.

Do you limit your child’s screen time during the summer?  What safety measures have you put in place?

Author Bio: The article is written by experienced writer Jason Phillips. He owns an online gaming website Tom and Jerry Games 365. Apart he is a loving father who spends his free time with his kids.

My Thoughts on Milestones as a Mom and KidMin Leader

When I became a mom 17 years ago, older women would say, “Cherish every moment.  They grow up very quickly.”  As a mom of young children, I honestly couldn’t fathom them growing up quickly.  I was trying to survive each day!  It felt like they’d be little forever and that I’d always be changing diapers, getting up during the night, picking up toys countless time a day, vacuuming up Cheerios, potty training and chasing after children who liked to run and explore everything!  These days, I find myself giving that same timeless and true advice to moms of young children, with the preface, “You might not believe this right now, but…”

This year has been a huge year of milestones for my children, who are now ages 17 and almost 14.  Milestones are nothing new; my children have hit many over the course of their young lives.  It’s only when there are a TON of milestones in one year that it’s get to be a bit overwhelming.  A few major milestones marked this year include:  learner’s permit, class ring/ring banquet, Prom, becoming a high school senior (my son) and yesterday, my daughter graduating from the 8th Grade.  I have had a wide range of emotions, that’s for sure!

I’ve viewed the events of this year through two lenses: my Mom lens and my KidMin leader lens.

As a Mom, I wonder, Have we, as their parents, done enough?  What could we have done differently?  Have we given them the tools to make their own decisions and live on their own?  The time really has gone by fast.  My mom has told me (and countless other women) about seasons of motherhood.  I would describe this season of motherhood as the preparing to launch season.  This particular season has found me being way more intentional in helping them to pray more purposefully, resolve relational conflict in healthy ways, be sure about what they believe and why, live out their faith courageously, manage their time, take care of their things and manage their money better.

As a KidMin leader, I wonder, How do we as leaders help parents navigate the many seasons of parenthood?  Do we mark and celebrate spiritual and life milestones with them?  Are we intentional as children transition from one area of ministry to another?  These questions have kept my KidMin leader working overtime lately and will become part of my focus for the upcoming ministry year.  It is important that my team and I recognize that parents (1) like to celebrate milestones in their children’s lives and (2) they need guidance on what to expect, support from their church and support from other parents going through a similar season and those who’ve already lived through those seasons.

I will be dusting off a few of my resources to give our team a good foundation to brainstorm from.  Some of the resources I’m turning to are:

The Legacy Path:  Discover Intentional Spiritual Parenting by Brian Haynes

*He also had a website, which you can check out here.

Take It Home:  Inspiration and Events to Help Parents Spiritually Transform Their Children by Mark Holmen

Parents, how are you marking milestones in your child’s life?

KidMin leaders, how is your ministry helping parents celebrate and navigate milestones and transitions?  What resources do you use?  I am looking for ideas to please share away!

Tween Girls Targeted by Victoria’s Secret?

Being the mom of a young teen daughter, I find there is often a struggle with helping her find modest, age-appropriate but fashionable clothing.

Photo (c) Victoria's Secret
Photo (c) Victoria’s Secret

I came across an article a few weeks ago that caught my eye.  It has been all over the news and web.  The article referenced outraged parents over Victoria’s Secret newest “Bright Young Things” campaign.  You can read the article here.  While the company denies it, parents allege that the line targets tween girls.  (If you are not sure what a ‘tween’ is, a ‘tween’ is usually defined as an 8-12 yr old.)

On a side note, you might also be interested in checking out Darrah Gresh’s Secret Keeper Girl’s Modesty Project.

Let’s talk about this.  Have you heard the buzz about this controversy?  What are your thoughts?


Celebrate “Write a Thank-You Note Day”

Photograph via Tumblr

My husband and I spent the year before we were married in a long-distance relationship (he lived in Alabama while I attended college in Virginia).  During that year, we exchanged a lot of cards and letters.  Every now and then I read through the notes just for fun.  That’s easy to do because the notes sit in a floral basket next to my bed.  The basket also contains cards that my children made in their preschool and elementary years as well as other keepsakes from special people in my life.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post encouraging leaders to speak their volunteer’s love language.  Since my love language is words of affirmation, I treasure notes (hand-written and electronic) containing encouragement and thanks.

Yesterday, I received an email from one of my favorite home and garden magazines.  They declared today Write a Thank-You Note Day”.  What a great idea, I thought.

Hand-written notes have almost become outdated in lieu of e-mail and text messages, but in my opinion, hand-written notes will never go out of style.

So, consider writing a thank-you note to someone you appreciate today.  Make it full of reasons why you appreciate them and how much they mean to you.

Don’t have a clue who you might bless with a hand-written note?  Here are some suggestions to get you started:

If you’re a KidMin leader:

  • Your spouse
  • Your children
  • Your pastor/supervisor
  • Someone who serves in your ministry
  • Someone behind the scenes but serves your ministry (i.e. your janitorial or church office staff)
  • Your mentor

If you’re a KidMin parent:

  • Your spouse
  • Your children
  • Your child’s principal/teacher/school administrator
  • Your child’s coach
  • Your children’s pastor/director

If you’re a KidMin volunteer:

  • Your spouse
  • Your children
  • Your ministry leader
  • Someone who serves alongside you in ministry
  • Parents of a child in your class

Challenge:  Go ahead – write a thank-you note today, but don’t let it stop there.  Take the time to regularly write thank-you notes to people you are thankful for.  You can write one a day, one a week, or one a month.  Just write it – your words and the thought behind it will bless you as well as the recipient.

Related Post:  Speak Your Volunteer’s Love Language