What More Could I Have Done?

For the past several weeks, I have seen several friends and ministry colleagues come under serious spiritual attack.  While each circumstance is different, they are all trusting God for the next steps after seeing dreams become shattered pieces of what could’ve or should’ve been.

Earlier this week, I read a passage of scripture that made me ponder the feeling of defeat.  The passage was Isaiah 5:1-7.

“What more could I have done to cultivate a rich harvest?  

Why did my vineyard give me wild grapes when I expected sweet ones?”

Isaiah 5:4

Have you been in a place like that, a place of disappointment and heartbreak?  Have you wondered why all of your hard work returned a ‘loss’ rather than a ‘win’?  I have, both personally and professionally.  After all, none of us work to fail.  We invest and work hard to see results – favorable results.

One thing that I remind my children’s ministry team is that while we can plant the seed, it’s up to God to grow it in His time.  We might not see the results right away; we may never see the results.  But that doesn’t mean that we should give up.

If you feel like throwing in the towel because an event that took weeks of planning flopped, leaders that you invested in turned against you, a door was closed, you don’t get the recognition that you feel you deserve, you were removed from a cherished ministry position or job, the child you raised in the church is no longer interested in following Christ, or you aren’t as far along in life as you thought you should be, don’t give up.  Be encouraged:  God will give you the strength you need to endure every season of your life, the highs and the lows.  Lean into Him, do what He has called you to do and trust Him for the results.

What are you trusting God for right now?  Do you believe that He has your best interest at heart?

Speak Your Volunteer’s Love Language

Years ago, I read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.  The title was fascinating and I wanted to learn more.  Not only did I want to learn how to best show love to my husband, I wanted to learn more about the way I best receive love.  The findings weren’t astonishing – I already knew – but I could give it an “official” title.

If you are not familiar with The 5 Love Languages, allow me to give you a brief description of each:

Words of Affirmation:  Use words to affirm other people.

Acts of Service:  For these people, actions speak louder than words.

Receiving Gifts:  It’s not the price or extravagance of the gift; it’s the thought behind it.

Quality Time:  Give people your focused, undivided attention.

Physical Touch:  Use appropriate touch to lift someone’s spirits

Since the first book, there have been subsequent books, including “The 5 Love Languages of Children”, “The Five Love Languages of Teenagers”, just to name a few.  The author also penned a book called “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace”.  According to their website, this book gives “practical steps to make any workplace environment more encouraging and productive”.

I’d like to offer that as kidmin leaders, one of our goals should be to make our ministry environments more encouraging and productive.  How?  By creatively loving on our volunteers as often as we can.  What if we loved our volunteers in ways that they would best receive it?  What if we moved away from “one size fits all” volunteer appreciation?  After all, if we don’t properly care for our volunteers, who will?

Show your volunteers how much you care by speaking their love language.  Below are a few ideas to help get you started:

Words of Affirmation:  

  • Praise your volunteers publicly, in front of other people.
  • Write notes to them, affirming them in how they are an invaluable member of your team.
  • Write notes to their family, thanking them for sharing their family member with your ministry and the impact they are having.
  • Catch them in the act and mention to them how they made the right call, gently spoke to a child, made the Bible story come alive, etc.

Resource:  DaySpring provides free e-cards you can send to your volunteers to let them know how much you care.

Acts of Service:  

  • Take them a meal when they are sick, have a baby, etc.
  • Offer to babysit volunteer’s children so that your volunteer can enjoy a date night with their spouse, a day of pampering, or a day of solitude with the Lord.
  • Run an errand for them.
  • Prepare their supplies for an upcoming lesson.
  • Love them enough to give them the Sunday off when needed.

Resource:  Make a coupon book for volunteers for them to use in redeeming “services” (with advance notice, of course!).

Receiving Gifts:  

  • Give volunteers their favorite piece of candy, a gift card to their favorite restaurant or a gift card to their favorite coffee shop.
  • Frame their favorite scripture verse in a beautiful picture frame.
  • Put together an electronic photo album, showcasing your volunteer in action.  (I love Smilebox.)
  • Frame a picture of your volunteer in action.
  • Frame a picture of your volunteer’s class or team.
  • Have the volunteer’s make a handmade gift.

Resource:  Find out your volunteer’s “Favorite Things” by asking them.  Here’s a free form to get you started.

Quality Time:  

*Disclaimer:  Keep appropriate boundaries when interacting with someone of the opposite sex.

  • Take your volunteers out for coffee or meal just to chat and get to know each other outside of church.
  • Call your volunteer and ask how you can pray for them.  Pray for them right over the phone.
  • If you share a hobby with a volunteer, do that hobby together – bake cookies, go fishing, take a class, paint a room, plant a garden, etc.
  • Serve together in a cause that you’re passionate about.
  • Read a book together and discuss it.

Resource:  Subscribe to websites like Groupon or Living Social – they have great discounted goods and services.

Physical Touch:

*Disclaimer:  Use appropriate touch, especially toward the opposite sex.  I am a hugger by nature, but a rule of thumb that I follow is that I do not hug my male volunteers.  I have a completely hands-off policy for male volunteers.

  • Give a hug to a hurting volunteer of the same gender.
  • You could also give fist bumps, a high-five or a special handshake.

Brainstorm additional ideas to help each volunteer feel loved and appreciated in ways that would mean the most to them.

What ideas would you add to the list?  Share them with me below!

How We Brought Preteen Parents and Leaders Together

This past Sunday, we hosted a Small Group Leader & Parent Breakfast for Route 45, our church’s Preteen Ministry.  I was inspired to plan this after I saw an idea on a great website, Stuff You Can Use.  The website offers a free, editable kit that will help you plan the entire event.  The event was originally designed for Middle School Ministry, but I found it easy to design it for our needs.

I described this event to our parents as the church version of “Back to School Night”.  This type of event is usually held in August or September.  Since things were extremely busy in the fall, we scheduled it for February, the mid-point for our ministry year.

Here’s an overview of our event:

Purpose:  The primary purpose of this event was to bring parents and leaders together for a light breakfast and conversation.  Since our preteens are allowed to check themselves in and out on Sunday mornings, many of our parents and leaders had never met.  I didn’t want the school year to go by without this important face-to-face interaction.

Logistics:  We held our event on a Sunday morning during both of our morning services.  Parents were encouraged to attend during the hour that their child attends Route 45.  I recruited a few teens to help me teach the morning’s lesson and help with crowd control.  Leaders were provided with a timeline for the morning and a copy of conversation starters prior to the event so that they’d be familiar with how things would operate.

Promotion & Registration:  We began promoting the event through our weekly parent email approximately two months before the event.  It started as a “Save the Date” promotion and then moved to actual emails with more details.  We also promoted the event through announcements during our preteen Large Group time, our online church newsletter and the church bulletin.  Invitations were provided for each preteen to take home and give to their parents.  (We wanted to publicize in many different ways.)  Our invitations and other handouts were customized to be blue and white (to complement our color scheme) and include our logo.

Food:  We kept the menu pretty simple.  We served muffins, bagels and cream cheese, protein bars, fresh fruit, juice and bottled water.  We were able to keep the event to less than $60 for food and supplies.

Decor:  We set up three 9-foot tables parallel to each other with space to walk in-between.  We covered the tables with table cloths and placed an acrylic sign holder in the middle.  The sign holder held the names of each small group leader.  At each place setting, we placed a legal-sized place mat (with a section for notes); a two-sided post card – one side shared how we want to partner with parents and the other side listed our leaders and contact information; and a feedback card that parents and leaders could use in telling us if the event was beneficial, if we should offer it again and suggestions to make it better.  We also placed name tags, pens, markers and copies of Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof’s book, Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, for parents to peruse.

Here are a few pictures:

Flow for the morning:  At the beginning of the morning, I welcomed parents, shared the purpose of the gathering and brief overview for the morning as well as insight into our ministry year.  (We launched Route 45 in September, so the word for the year is “new”…new format, new curriculum, new leaders, new space, new programming, new, new, new!)  Then I turned things over to our leaders and let them facilitate the conversation.  Five minutes before the service ended, I wrapped up the time by giving a few announcements and a heartfelt “thank you” to our parents and leaders.

Overall, I am so glad that we held this event and I look forward to it again in the fall.  It warmed my heart to see parents and leaders talking about how we can best work together to help our precious children in their spiritual journey.

Leaders and volunteers:  How do you encourage a partnership between your ministry and parents?

Parents:  How can your church better partner with you as you guide your children spiritually?

Ideas for Lent and Easter

Lent is upon us and Easter is right around the corner.  If you’re looking for Lent and/or Easter ideas for church, home or school, be sure to visit my Lent & Easter board on my Pinterest page.  You can access the board here: http://pinterest.com/kathierphillips/kidmin-lent-easter/

Have you given up anything for Lent?  What do you have planned to make the Easter season come alive this year?