{Book Review & Giveaway} “Growing Up Social”

Technology is all around us.  There’s no escaping it.  As a busy woman, mom of two teenagers, and aunt of younger elementary children, I am all too aware of the screen-driven world we live in.  Sometimes, I look around a crowded room and see everyone’s face staring at a screen (TV, mobile phone or tablet).  It’s can be hard to convince everyone to put down the devices and actually talk to each other – voice to voice, eye to eye.

When I was offered the opportunity to review Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World, I couldn’t wait to dive in.

About the book:
 
Growing Up Social
-Softcover
-209 pages
-Parent Resources
-discussion Guides for every chapter (perfect for a bible study!)
 
Is technology bringing your family closer together or driving you farther apart?
 
Children today are no longer playing hide-and-seek outside or curling up with a good book—instead they’ve been introduced to a world of constant digital entertainment through television, video games, and mobile devices. And while technology has the potential to add value to our lives and families, it can also erode a sense of togetherness and hinder a child’s emotional and social development.
In Growing Up Social, Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane will empower you with the necessary tools to make positive changes…starting today. Through stories, wit, and wisdom, you’ll discover how to take back your home from an over dependence on screens. Plus, you’ll learn to teach the five A+ skills that every healthy child needs to master: affection, appreciation, anger management, apology, and attention.
•Equip your child to be relationally rich in a digital world
•Replace mindless screen time with meaningful family time
•Establish simple boundaries that make a huge difference
•Discover what’s working for families that have become screen savvy
•Learn healthy ways to occupy your child while you get things done
Now is the time to equip your child to live with screen time, not for screen time. No phone, tablet, or gaming device can teach your child how to have healthy relationships—only you can.
What I Liked:

I read Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, many years ago & loved it, so I had high hopes for this book.  I enjoyed the content that spoke specifically to social media and how it affects not only children but adults, things such as:

  • “The training necessary for growing up social isn’t found on a phone or tablet.  There’s no app or video game that can replace interactions with other human beings.  Social skills must be practiced in real life, beginning for a child in the home.”
  • “The more a child is involved in screen time, the less time there is for interaction with parents, siblings and friends.”
  • “More and more children are being taught how life works from a screen instead of the real-life classrooms of responsibility, chores, and family relationships.”
  • “If your children are not interacting with the family in a way you consider healthy, it’s your responsibility to make a change.”
  • “…technology works best when it’s a tool in your life.  It becomes destructive when it becomes the main hub where most of your life is experienced.”
  • “Physical presence matters.  You cannot communicate intimacy through texts, emails, or tweets.  The deepest form of affection is given face to face in real-time.”
  • “If we leave our children unattended with their screens, we must be prepared to accept the consequences.”

Many of the tips offered in the book were practical and easy to implement.  I think it equally balanced emphasized being intentional in taking proactive measures as well as measures to change bad habits that have formed.

What I Think Was Missing:

The middle section of the book spoke to five “A+ skills” that every healthy child needs to master.  While this was great stuff, I felt like it didn’t belong in this book.  It would’ve been great in a separate book.  I also felt like some of the content was repeated several times throughout each chapter.  In addition, some of the stories shared in the book seemed a little idealistic to me.

My Recommendation:

Overall, the book had some good points that parents today should take notice of.  You can check it out for yourself by entering to win a copy by emailing me at kidminspiration@gmail.com.  Deadline to enter is 11:59pm Friday, November 14th.

About the authors:
Gary Chapman
Gary Chapman- author, speaker, and counselor—has a passion for people and for helping them form lasting relationships. He is the bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages series and the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information, visit 5lovelanguages.com.
Arlene Pellicane
Arlene Pellicane– is a speaker and author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. She has been featured on The Today ShowThe 700 Club, and Family Life Today and formerly served as the associate producer for Turning Point Television with Dr. David Jeremiah. Arlene lives in Southern California with her husband, James, and their three children. Find out more at ArlenePellicane.com.

Growing Up Social

Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

A Twist on Volunteer Training: “Leader Lunch & Learn”

 

Training and equipping our kidmin leaders is of utmost importance if we want them to lead well in their ministry area and to have longevity in serving with us.

There are many challenges when it comes to volunteer training, however.

How can we make it beneficial to rookies and veterans alike?

How can we make it appealing so that they’ll actually come out for the event?

Are there some creative elements we can incorporate to make it fun and memorable?

What can we call it other than ‘training’?

How do we make it both informative and engaging?

There are so many resources available for kidmin leaders to take advantage of to train and equip volunteers.  One of the best resources, in my opinion, are workshops that I attend.  Many times when I travel to national workshops I am unable to take staffers or volunteers with me, so I try to find ways to share what I’ve learned in various contexts.  Usually, I purchase audio recordings from the places I attend and pass them along to others.  However, I felt compelled recently to try something different.

I attended Group’s KidMin Conference back in September and one of the workshops I took there was called “50 Ways to Bring the Bible to Life”.  (You can pick up my notes here).  I loved the premise and content provided, so I thought that it would be cool to teach my version to our elementary and preteen leaders.  I absolutely THRIVE on preparing for events like this, so I was very excited about how it would come together.

When I began thinking about a catchy name for this event, I knew that it wouldn’t be called “training”.  I mean, that screams excitement, right? NOT!!  So after some careful thought, I landed upon Leader Lunch & Learn.  This past Sunday, I hosted our very first Leader Lunch & Learn and it was great!  Here are some details about the event:

I wanted this event to be (1) a time of fellowship (over a delicious lunch that we provided, of course!), for the leaders to get to know each other better in an informal, casual setting; (2) informative – leading a group of children requires our leaders to know what they’re doing; (3) practical – I wanted the information presented to be something that they could use right away; and (4) engaging – I wanted attendees to get share ideas (it’s always a good idea to have team members learn from each other) and practice what they’ve learned.

Keeping those four things in mind, the event began to take shape.  I designed an invitation that was sent to adult and student leaders via email (I used Mail Chimp).  I set up responses to go to a form I created on Google Forms – very easy to do.  Then I used the workshop notes to come up with a time flow/outline for the 90 minutes that we’d have together:

Arrival

Welcome & Overview (5 minutes)

I welcomed everyone, thanked them for coming and gave them an overview of what our time together would look like.

Lunch & Fellowship (20 minutes)

Since we held this event immediately following our 2nd service hour, serving lunch was not an option.  I landed on a simple, delicious lunch that was very affordable and easy to set up:  I ordered a deli sandwich wrap platter and provided potato chips, fresh fruit, cookies, brownies, iced tea, lemonade and bottled water.

Introductions, Introduce the “Smarts”, Have team take “Smarts” Inventory (7 minutes)

Our elementary and preteen ministries are run separately, so many of the attendees had never met each other.  We took a few minutes to introduce ourselves and then I had them quickly fill out the “Got Smarts” inventory (that was included in the workshop notes) so that they could discover their primary “smart”.

Review responses from “Got Smarts” Inventory, Talk about “Smart Chart”, and Ways to Incorporate these ideas into their large group & small group times (25 minutes)

After reviewing the responses from the “Got Smarts” inventory, we discussed what each ‘smart’ looked like and ways to incorporate each ‘smart’ into our lessons. Since each of our volunteers is very gifted and creative, I wanted them to learn from each other, too, so they tossed out additional ideas that were not included in the original notes.  They had some great suggestions!

Group Assignment & Sharing

I wanted everyone to get some practice incorporating what they had learned, so I broke the group up into 3 smaller groups and assigned each group a Bible story: The Good Samaritan (Luke 10;30-37); Jonah and the Whale (Jonah 1); and Feeding of the 5000 (Matthew 14:13-21).  Their task was to brainstorm ideas to bring the Bible to life by incorporating each ‘smart’ into that particular Bible story.  Boy did they do an awesome job with that.  When they shared their ideas, I was blown away!  You can read their ideas here.

Wrap Up/Thank You’s

I closed our time together by reminding them to not be afraid to think outside of the box and infuse creativity into their lessons to help the Bible come to life for every student in their group.  I affirmed them, thanked everyone for coming and reminded them to take home a special treat I had prepared for them.  Since we were talking about ‘smarts’, it was only fitting to use “Smarties” in the treat bags.

Take-Home Treat (the front)
Take-Home Treat (the front)

 

Take-Home Treat (the back)
Take-Home Treat (the back)

As a result of preparing for this training event, feedback was so positive that we will offer a new topic every other month.  I asked volunteers for suggestions on future topics and so we’re set for our next event, which will be held in January.  I can’t wait!

Now it’s your turn – what does your volunteer training/equipping opportunities look like?  Share what works for you below!

3 Reminders About Partnering with Parents

Photo Credit: mattmo.org
Photo Credit: mattmo.org

I love my job.  I really do.  But sometimes, in the busyness of making sure that a million details are covered, I can oftentimes forget that families in my church community walk through our church doors carrying some pretty heavy burdens.  I was reminded of that this past weekend.  One family is facing a health crisis while another family is adjusting to new, temporary living arrangements.

My heart breaks for these two precious families.  I wish I had the ‘right’ words to say, other than, “Tell me how I can pray for you.”  But it dawned on me…praying for these families is one of the greatest gifts I can give to these sweet families and the other families I serve.

“Partnering with parents” is a popular phrase tossed around in the kidmin world.  Google it – you’ll see more than 600,000 results!  You’ll see the phrase on websites, in vision and mission statements, listed in an organization’s core values, just to name a few.  But what does it really mean to partner with parents?

This past weekend, I was reminded that partnering with parents begins with a relationship.  Do you take the time to stop and chat with the families in your ministry during weekend services?  Are you even available to make this happen?  Position yourself in visible places in your children’s areas to get to know your families.  Listen to them – really listen.  What are they saying?  What are they NOT saying?

Partnering with parents means regularly communicating with them.  Has a child or family missed several weeks of church?  Has someone been sick?  Is someone dealing with an extended time of crisis – unemployment, illness, new living situation?  Reach out to them with a phone call, email, note in the mail, or text message.  Meet them for coffee.

Partnering with parents means coming alongside them in prayer.  When you say you’ll pray for someone, mean it – then do it.  Pray for them specifically by name.  Then follow-up with them.  I have begun to add this to our weekly staff meeting agenda.  It’s that serious.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of ways a kidmin can partner with parents.  But think about it.

Build relationships.

Regularly communicate with them.

Pray with them (and for them).

Keep the conversation going by adding your two cents!  What ways do you effectively partner with parents?

Stop Recruiting [Volunteers], Start Retaining [Volunteers]

stop recruiting start retaining

Last month at Group’s KidMin Conference, I shared a ministry challenge and a ministry joy at the opening General Session.  This is what I said:

“I’ve been chosen by God to not recruit volunteers to ‘fill holes’ (which is a pet peeve phrase of mine).  I’ve been chosen by God to recruit volunteers to a vision, shepherd them, train them, equip them to serve, connect them with other volunteers and place them in their volunteer sweet spot so that they serve with us for the long haul.”

Recruiting volunteers ranks near the top of the list of challenges for ministry leaders.  It really doesn’t matter whether your church is large or small; no church is immune.  You rarely hear someone say, “I don’t need anymore volunteers.”

Yesterday I attended a local networking event here in Baltimore for kidmin leaders.  The topic: Stop Recruiting, Start Retaining.  The speaker was Christine Kreisher, who serves as the Family and Connections Pastor at Glad Tidings Church in Reading, Pennsylvania.

Here are the notes, 4 things to give volunteers so that they stay around for the long haul:

SIGNIFICANCE

“People don’t need another job; they need, and crave, purpose and meaning.” – CK

Leaders:  Create a FUN and meaningful experience where volunteers feel that what they do matters.

Volunteers will say:  “I love this!” or “I’m making a difference.”

Best Practices:

  • Connect the vision
  • Find the fit
  • Improve the process
  • Fill their bucket

SUPPORT

“It’s the lack of communication and preparation that kills volunteerism.” – Dr. Darren Kizer

“People matter to God, so they matter to us.” – Nelson Searcy

Leaders:  Ensure that every volunteer has the necessary information, resources, & encouragement to fulfill their role in ministry.

Volunteers will say:  “I have what I need.” or “I feel valued.”

Best Practices:

  • Communicate early and often
  • Huddle up
  • Train for success
  • Organize volunteer teams

COMMUNITY

“God created us with a hunger for relationship – for relationship with Him and with our fellow people.  At our very core, we are relational beings…The soul cannot prosper without being connected to others..” – Henry Cloud

Leaders:  Establish a culture where volunteers feel connected and new friendships can be developed.

Volunteers will say:  “I belong here.” or “I’ve got friends here.”

Best Practices:

  • Friendship-friendly programming
  • Make it fun
  • Plan connections
  • Get it on the calendar
  • Embrace the mess!

EMPOWERMENT

“The local church should be one of the greatest leadership development agencies on the planet because Jesus was a great leader and developer of leaders.  The church does not have a leadership problem…there are plenty of leaders…the church has a leadership development problem.” – Mac Lake

Leaders:  Invest your time and resources to empower people to develop as a leader.

Volunteers will say:  “I’m trusted and have opportunities to develop into a better leader.”

Best Practices:

  • Replace yourself
  • Set them free
  • Delegate vs dump
  • Make it helpful

Keep the conversation going!  What strategies have you seen that work in retaining volunteers?  Let me know by leaving a comment below!